The Last Word: Learning to Thrive With ADHD

Coaches in Action

FDA Consumer magazine

November-December 2004 Issue

By Toni Wood


"Baggeldaggit!"

My husband looked at me, then at our 2-year-old son, Jason, not understanding what he was saying. We had learned that when Jason became frustrated, we needed to figure it out quickly ... or else. "Baggeldaggit!" He said it again.

This was his third time, and he was getting insistent. Frustrated ourselves, we called in our older son to help solve Jason's mystery. With demonstrative help from Jason, we finally determined that "Baggeldaggit" meant "Inspector Gadget," Jason's favorite TV show.

In addition to language, Jason later struggled with:

  • Handwriting legibility
  • Inability to stay focused and sit still in class
  • Poor short-term memory resulting in forgotten assignments
  • Inability to process multiple instructions.

Some of these challenges, plus Jason's inability to adhere to school rules, contributed to his expulsion from Montessori preschool. Eventually we discovered that many of Jason's impairing challenges were part of undiagnosed attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), along with difficulty writing (dysgraphia) and learning disabilities.

Once diagnosed, he was prescribed medication and therapy to help manage many of these challenges. The diagnosis provided an explanation, but we still faced an uphill battle; each year we had to educate new teachers who were intent on "fixing" Jason.

In 1996, when Jason was 10, I discovered that "the apple does not fall too far from the tree." Feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, I sought professional help that led to my own diagnosis of ADHD and depression. Put on medication and receiving therapy, I soon learned to manage my ADHD, and I put the depression behind me. In hindsight, I recognize many symptoms of ADHD in my past. I remember always feeling pressured and overwhelmed by daily tasks. Bills were piled up all over the house, the phone was constantly ringing with collectors demanding to be paid, the house could pass for an out-of-control yard sale, and laundry rarely got folded, let alone put away. I was supposed to be modeling good values and principles for my kids--how could I be a model for them when I couldn't do it myself?

Having watched Jason's frustration with school motivated me to find ways to help him and others who also struggled. I knew what it was to struggle with ADHD; the road to my first college degree was long and hard and filled with many potholes.

For me, college was a never-ending cycle of constant stress. I was always anxious about taking notes and recording every word my professors said, worried I would miss something important. Distractions were everywhere. College education was a living torture. Despite all the stress, I still managed to graduate. My husband teases me about taking two kids, three states, and four colleges to get my degree. That's true, but somehow I managed--and with honors.

Eventually I went back to pursue another degree, this time in psychology. I had gained experience developing and testing successful strategies that supported my unique way of learning. I discovered how my mind wandered, which contributed to my inability to focus. I also discovered how perpetual motion helped me focus, and tapping a pencil or jiggling my feet was calming.

My new strategies, coupled with the college disabilities services office plan to provide note-taking support and additional time to complete exams, were key components that had been missing in my past. Armed with experience and an array of effective tools, I received my second degree in less than two years. Not finding post-graduate programs that suited my interests, I searched for alternatives. I wasn't sure what I was looking for until I met an "ADD coach." I had found my new career! A few months later, I discovered the path that would get me there. I enrolled, and eventually graduated, at the ADD Coach Academy, a yearlong comprehensive coach-training program where I learned the skills to powerfully coach individuals with ADHD.

My coaching practice focuses on college students and newly diagnosed adults with ADHD. Because of my own experiences, I want to help others understand that ADHD does not have to be a constant struggle. It is through the struggle that we learn our lessons of success. I want to share my story so others won't have to go through unnecessary pain.

ADHD can be a challenge or a catalyst. With support from people who understand ADHD, the wounds of the past can become the present catalyst of wisdom that motivates individuals to create success right now.

Toni Wood is an ADHD coach certified by the ADD Coach Academy with a nationwide practice. She lives in Chesapeake, Va.